Now that This Time Around has been out for a little while, I thought I’d answer one of the questions I’ve been asked several times already.
Where did the idea come from?
Like almost every book I’ve written, it started with two simple words.
What if…?
It was the middle of the night, at one of those ridiculous hours when I really should have been asleep but my brain had other ideas.
Then one question appeared.
What if the lead singer of a successful band was the only survivor of a tour bus crash?
That was all I had.
No Ben Carter.
No Midnight Arcade.
No ending.
Just one question.
As is usually the case with me, that question refused to leave me alone.
The interesting thing is that I never became fascinated by the crash itself.
I became fascinated by the man who survived it.
How would someone carry that kind of survivor’s guilt for fifteen years?
Would they still listen to music?
Would they ever perform again?
Would they even believe they deserved to?
Those questions slowly became Ben Carter.
But as I spent more time with him, I realised something that completely changed the direction of the novel.
I wasn’t writing a comeback story.
In fact, I was trying very hard not to write one.
It would have been very easy to write a book where a disabled former singer rediscovers his confidence, walks—or in Ben’s case, wheels—back into the spotlight and everything works out perfectly.
There are plenty of stories like that already.
That wasn’t the story I wanted to tell.
I also didn’t want to write what people sometimes call inspirational porn.
As someone who lives with a disability myself, I’ve seen too many stories where the disabled character exists simply to inspire everyone else. Their disability becomes their entire identity, and the ending is often about proving they’re “just as good” as everyone else.
That never felt honest to me.
Ben isn’t defined by his wheelchair.
He’s defined by everything he’s been carrying for the last fifteen years.
His grief.
His guilt.
His memories.
The friends he lost.
The life he thought he’d have.
The wheelchair is part of his life, but it isn’t his story.
Neither is the concert.
In fact, if you’ve already read This Time Around, you’ll know the memorial concert isn’t really the destination at all.
The music isn’t even the point.
It’s simply the thing that forces Ben to confront everything he’s spent fifteen years trying not to face.
At its heart, This Time Around is about a man learning to accept that Midnight Arcade is over.
His friends aren’t coming back.
His old life isn’t coming back.
But he is still here.
And if he’s still here, he has to figure out what living actually means.
That, to me, is a far more interesting story than someone making a triumphant return to the stage.
Of course, none of that works unless readers believe in Midnight Arcade as much as Ben does.
That’s why I spent so much time creating the band’s history. I wanted them to feel like a genuine indie band with friendships, shared memories, songs and dreams that existed long before Chapter One begins. By the time I finished writing, they felt real to me—and I hope they do to you as well.
Looking back now, it’s strange to think this entire novel began because I couldn’t sleep.
One sleepless night.
One simple question.
One stubborn “What if…?”
Everything else grew from there.
If you’ve already read This Time Around, thank you.
I genuinely hope Ben’s story stayed with you after you reached the final page.
Not because of the concert.
Not because of the music.
But because, somewhere along the way, you found yourself rooting for a man who’d forgotten how to live—and hoping he’d finally give himself permission to start again.
Before You Go…
If you’ve enjoyed reading about where This Time Around came from, you might also enjoy another post called Every Story Starts With “What If?”, where I talk about why those two little words have become the foundation of almost everything I write.
If you enjoyed This Time Around, I’d be incredibly grateful if you could leave an honest review on Amazon. Reviews make a huge difference to independent authors and help other readers discover the book.
And while you’re here, have a look around CMeewrites. There are plenty more behind-the-scenes articles, writing updates and stories about how my novels come to life.
Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you in the next blog.