Today, This Time Around is finally yours.
Those six words feel surreal to write.
For a long time, This Time Around existed only as an idea in my head. It became notebooks filled with scribbled ideas, chapter plans, deleted scenes, countless cups of coffee and more rewrites than I care to admit. There were days when the story seemed to flow effortlessly and others when I questioned every single page I’d written.
But somehow, after years of planning, writing, rewriting and editing, release day has finally arrived.
Seeing the book available for readers around the world is exciting, humbling and, if I’m being honest, just a little difficult to believe.
Like every novel, this one started with a simple question.
What happens to the one person who survives?
That question slowly grew into Ben Carter’s story.
At first, I thought I was writing a novel about a former musician. Then I thought it was about grief. Later I convinced myself it was about music. Eventually I realised it was about all of those things, but also something much bigger.
It became a story about finding a way to keep living after life changes beyond recognition.
The version you can read today isn’t the first version of This Time Around.
In fact, the first complete draft no longer exists.
I reached a point where I knew something wasn’t working. The story had moments I loved, but it wasn’t saying what I wanted it to say. It wasn’t as honest as it needed to be, and Ben deserved better than that.
So I made what felt like a terrifying decision at the time.
I started again.
Throwing away months of work is never easy. Every writer knows the temptation to keep trying to fix something simply because you’ve already invested so much time in it. But sometimes the bravest decision is accepting that a story hasn’t quite found its voice yet.
Looking back now, I’m incredibly glad I did.
The rewrite gave the novel room to breathe. It allowed the characters to become more authentic, the relationships to deepen and the emotional journey to unfold in a way that felt true rather than rushed.
Taking longer wasn’t a delay.
It was part of the process.
Writing This Time Around also came with a responsibility that I took very seriously.
The novel explores grief, survivor’s guilt, disability, friendship and hope. These aren’t subjects that deserved easy answers or convenient clichés. I wanted Ben’s experiences to feel honest. I wanted readers to meet a character who is neither defined entirely by what happened to him nor magically healed by the end of the story.
Life rarely works like that.
Recovery isn’t a straight line.
Neither is hope.
Ben Carter quickly became one of the most important characters I’ve ever written.
Without giving anything away, he’s someone who has spent years believing the most important part of his life is already behind him. He’s carrying memories, regrets and questions that refuse to leave him alone. Like so many of us, he has convinced himself that surviving and truly living are the same thing.
They’re not.
Throughout the novel, Ben is forced to confront questions about identity, purpose and whether it’s ever too late to rediscover the person you used to be. Along the way, music becomes far more than something he performs. It becomes a connection to the people he loved, a reminder of who he was and, perhaps, a path towards who he might still become.
Friendship also sits at the heart of this story.
So does loyalty.
So does the idea that second chances don’t always look the way we expect them to.
Although This Time Around explores loss, I never wanted it to become a story that stayed in darkness. More than anything else, I wanted it to leave readers with hope.
Not the unrealistic kind that pretends life is easy.
The quieter kind.
The kind that reminds us tomorrow can still hold something worth reaching for.
There are so many people I want to thank today.
Thank you to everyone who has followed this journey from the earliest blog posts.
Thank you to everyone who has read updates, shared articles, commented on social media or simply encouraged me to keep going whenever progress felt painfully slow.
Thank you to everyone who believed in this story before they had even read a single chapter.
And thank you to everyone who chose to pre-order the book.
Independent publishing is a wonderful experience because it creates a direct connection between writer and reader. Every person who decides to take a chance on an independently published novel genuinely makes a difference.
That support is never taken for granted.
Now, I’d love to invite you into Ben’s world.
I hope you’ll meet Ben Carter, discover Midnight Arcade and spend time with the people whose lives continue to shape his journey. I won’t spoil what’s waiting for you because I believe this is a story that deserves to unfold one chapter at a time.
I simply hope you’ll laugh, reflect, perhaps shed a tear or two, and ultimately close the book feeling that you’ve spent time with characters who feel real.
If you decide to read This Time Around, I sincerely hope you enjoy the journey.
And if you do, I’d be incredibly grateful if you could leave an honest review on Amazon once you’ve finished reading. Reviews help other readers discover independent books, and they mean far more than many people realise.
If you’d like to share a photo of your copy on social media or recommend the book to friends who enjoy emotional contemporary fiction, that’s appreciated too.
Word of mouth has always been one of the most powerful ways stories find new readers.
Today marks the end of one journey for me.
But hopefully it’s the beginning of one for you.
Stories only truly come alive when someone reads them. For years, This Time Around belonged only to me. Today it belongs to all of you. I hope Ben’s story stays with you long after you’ve turned the final page. Thank you for giving it a chance.